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Life in a small, podunct town

Saturday, June 14, 2003

8:53PM - MAN! THE LAST TIME THAT GIRL WAS WHISTLED AT WAS RIGHT BEFORE THE TRAIN HIT HER!

So I'm not sure what to write about just yet. I'm gonna save Five Questions till tomorrow or the next day.

I had a conversation with talent relations on bringing in Harley Race... wait that's taken... ummm... Harley... uhhh... shit.... he needs a catchy name. Like "Kev the Babarian" Yeah, Kevin's got a great one!

By the way, no one got me Tyson or Kevin's email address. You people are so unreliable!!!!!

I'm just kiddin'... to a point.

But we're open to new ideas on angles and storylines, and potiental talent for that matter, with S.T.A.B. Hopefully Adrian and everyone else will get their rear gear and put on a show by the middle of July. Harley might participate, it's up in the air with what we'll do with him, as he really has no training. Kevin got Brian's Crash Course in Weapon Weilding Mayhem... and did pretty good.

We (I) are (am) working on an angle for Harley, I don't think he'll enjoy it too much as he really won't see too much action for a while... until I can take him under my wing and show him the beauty of sports-entertainment.

Match flow is going to start being better as I have implemented a system that will ensure all the high spots will be hit and the ref knows what to do. It's pretty much the "Ring General" principle that has been in place since Abe Lincoln was wrestling in carnivals. Almost every spot planned for Lee v. Sapp was missed and the ending was fucked up and we had to make up something on the spot, which made Sapp kind of look like a tool.

Maybe Harley could be the homeless guy? Big H.D. (what he apparently calls himself now) just sounds like a disease. Heh... The Little Drummer Boy. Now there's an idea.

Well, I have go... we'll I don't have to, I just don't know what else to say.

Tuesday, May 27, 2003

5:19PM - Reaping a Huge Crop of Preys

The only way to describe Eddie at the Sunday night youth service is that he was is rare form. His topic was about "the webs of the world" and using spiders and Spider-man as his focal points. Funny thing was that he used spiders to describe not only Satan, but man and God as well. On top of that, he used very inaccurate information about the little 8-legged freaks. I guess that just goes to show you that when it comes to analogies used by Christians the facts really don't matter, just change them to whatever you want to make it fit into your message. Anyway, here are the verbal bumbling of our illustrious leader. It's a really fun game trying to figure out what he really meant to say, so good luck to you!

1) Falthom

2) Triancellars

3) Principitalities

4) Trustesses

Phrases: This is where I say that Eddie was in rare form.

Your flesh wants to get GRATITUDE by getting back at your enemies.

OPTIMATELY superheros prevail.

Joseph's dream showed there'll be seven years of prosperity followed by seven years of PHANTOMS.

Joseph was whipped, beaten, SEWED, THROWED, and FOSSILIZED.

Potifer's wife made ADVANTAGES at Joseph.

The Old Testaments is a SHALLOW of things to come.

Not my will, but your will BEGUN.

Old things pass away, NEW things become NEW. (WHAT?!)

Pharaoh had a baker and a cup BURIER. (He also re-pronounced the word as BAYER, like the aspirin company.)

RE-ANNOUNCE your sins to God!

Not only in this present age, but the PRESENT AGE TO COME. (Wouldn't the present age to come be the future? After all, there can be only one present age at a time.)

And finally, my favorite of the night: Faith never says, "Why have you forsaken me, God?" (This statement ALONE could bring the entire house of cards down. Since Jesus said, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" then that means that Jesus lost faith in God, His own Father. The bible also says clearly that without faith, you cannot please God. So, that means that if Jesus lost faith, then He couldn't please God for what He had done, therefore making His personal sacrifice a complete waste. In other words: OUR SINS AREN'T REALLY FORGIVEN AFTER ALL!!! In ONE SENTANCE, Eddie completely destroyed the possibility for salvation for EVERYONE! A very impressive move, indeed. It's a darn good thing that I rarely take him seriously.)

Current mood: amused

Thursday, May 22, 2003

9:31AM - As Only "Pastor" Eddie Can Say It...

Constant Reader, I feel eternally grateful for having Eddie in my life. No matter how bad I'm feeling, upset I am, or belligerent of a mood I may be in, Eddie can get behind the pulpit and totally butcher the English language in a fashion that could only be compared to a young Saul slaughtering the members of the early church, and put a huge smile on my face. With that said, here are this week's "Eddie-isms". Enjoy!

1) Tommerknockle: This one really got me, because not only did he completely mispronounce "tabernacle", he knew he'd done it! He corrected himself twice, both times to no avail, with "tobberknockle", and "tableknockle".

2) Rapistists: Who here remembers that prison character on 'In Living Color' played by David Allan Grier, who constantly was talking about "womens with big breastesses"? Same thing popped up in my mind when he said that one.

3) Perfeck: That one is rich in irony!

And to finish it off, we'll end with the quotes of the week:

"When you accept Jesus, you receive and internal inheritance."

"Your mind is sheared like a hot iron!" - This was my personal favorite, not only because he said this one TWICE, but because it reminded me of an anecdote that Joel Sjoberg (pronounced Hua-baer, with the "H" sounded as one who is clearing the back of their throat to remove mucous and the "G" being silent), a young evangelist from Sweden who attended Victory Bible Institute's In-Missions Training (IMT) program. His grandfather was a devout preacher, but was a little rusty when it came to the English language. He was quoted saying, "I will never forget the day that Jesus shaved me!"

By the way, Eddie's message was very good. He spoke on the differences of the "Outer Court", the "Inner Court", and the "Holy of Holies" in the Jewish tabernacle and how they tie together with the different forms of relationships one has with God. So please, don't get me wrong; I'm only trying to let you partake in the hilarious mispronunciations that only he can make.

Current mood: amused

Friday, May 2, 2003

7:47PM - S.T.A.B. Frustrations

This morning I was thinking and - being the creative genius behind S.T.A.B. - i'm not happy with the creative direction that S.T.A.B. is heading. Yes, we've done pretty good about hyping one match... but aside from Mystery Oppenant v. David Lee there is nothing else on the card.

Not to mention I'm not terribly excited about the direction that angle is heading, but it will make a great match... if Adrian doesn't fuck up the angle. You do need a little promo reaction education Adrian.

But so far Adrian is the best potiental "full-time" wrestler there, seeing that I can't be there all the time. William may be around soon, but he also may not be and even if he is, who's to say he won't back out at the last minute like he did the last two fucking times! William could do a damn good job cuz we've put together matches before and they were the best I had. He & Dan both need to get over the fear of the bump they take with a bodyslam or a chair.

Tyson could do a good job too if he'd just get motivated with an actual match. As could Billy "The Outlaw" Edge, whom has yet to have any sort of training what-so-ever, I just have faith that he could do it.

So you see, we have a nice list of potiental wrestler, it's just that shit doesn't happen without me around to make it happen. Hell, I wanted this project to carry on without me unfortunatly it hasn't. There hasn't been one S.T.A.B. match since July of 02. One was cancelled due to a last minute back-out and people wanted one when I was home for the funeral, but come on, I would have probably really hurt someone and my heart wouldn't have been in it to begin with. I would have liked to at least watched one though. It'd be nice to see the show from the outside.

That's another reason I announced a retirement, just to see if it would carry on. Looks like I'll have to go home and give it a kick in the ass to get it moving though.

Current mood: aggravated

Thursday, May 1, 2003

12:50PM - A Stigler-ites exclusive

When I was 16 years old, I got acquainted with a man named Dean. I thought it was quite a funny name at the time, but soon realized that there was nothing funny what-so-ever about this man. Given, he could make you laugh, but you never wanted to laugh at his jokes but they always involved something terrible demonic or just plain mean. He was a terrible person that just liked to get people fired up so they would look like self-righteous idiots.

Dean was a wrestler too. Not the kind you see on tv, though he used to want to be one. I think he would have a made a good one too, or at least a terrific villian for a comic book. This guy was not nice, but Dean did manage to teach me damn-near all I know about wrestling and handed me a couple of memorable injuries to boot.

But he just sorta disappeared one April day. He'd pop out of the shadows occasionally for a good laugh at the expence of some poor sap... or Sapp. David Lee has met him, but I don't think Dean liked him too well, but who has liked. He just happened to come out from where ever he was hiding long enough to show Davey (that's what Dean called em') a few wrestling holds... and how to swing a golf club at someone's face.

Oh yeah... Dean was probably the most violent person you'd ever meet. Once, while we were showing, William "The Spider-Monkey" Mullins the ropes, he wrapped a long strand of barbwire around his own leg to give William the most beauifully painful leg drop that I have ever seen. William told his mom it was shaving accident, but it looked more to me like a meat-grinder accident to me.

But I just thought I'd share some memories with you regarding the "The Madman" and I'll leave you with his favorite quote: "Evil shouldn't this good... but that's exactly why it does."

Wednesday, April 30, 2003

1:25PM - Game One - Pretty Good for a Loss

Announcer: (Music intro)"Covering the sports news around the nation, this... is SportsCenter." (music fades)

Kenny Mayne: "Hello and welcome, everyone! I'm Kenny Mayne, along side with me tonight is Dan Patrick. Tonight's top stories: the Lakers look to take the NBA play-offs back to the house, while in the NHL the Stars look just to get a win and stop the Mighty Ducks' six-game winning tear."

Dan Patrick: "But first, we'll turn our focus to the dirty diamond as Opening Day begins for Oklahoma Kid-Pitch leagues. Let's go now to Stigler (music kicks in for the highlight reels) where the Bruisers are visiting the Blazers. First inning proved to be the Achilles Heel for both teams, the pitching staff showing terrible first-game jitters. First batter for the the Bruisers, Tim Travers, hits a first-pitch grounder to 1st base for the easy out... but that's where the easy outs ended for the Blazers. A series of wild pitches, walks and beans did more than load the bases. The starting pitcher was given the heave-ho after four runners scored, all on errors, but the bleeding wouldn't stop there. Two runner's on, Josh Hale at the plate. Hale, not known for his bat, on the second pitch, BAM! Get outta here! Cruise missile of a line drive hammered into the gap between 1st and 2nd, Hale gets the night's only error-free in-the-park homer, and his only hit of the night, brings their score to 7.
"But how quickly the tide switches when the bats are replaced by gloves. In an identical fashion, the Bruiser's pitching staff takes their 7-run lead and quickly throws it into the wood chipper. Inning ends, 7-all. Next inning, something happens to both teams, and an Honest-to-God baseball game breaks out as both teams shake the yips and buckle down. Travers finished out the game as pitcher from the 2nd inning with four walks and 8 strikeouts. Take it to the bottom of the 5th, final inning, score tied at 9, one out, runner on 3rd, a wild throw by the catcher brings the winning run in uncontested. Blazers win their opener with a final score... of 10 to 9. (Music fades out)
Kenny, your thoughts."

KM: Well, we're talking about two teams that are struggling to make a name for themselves in the league. The Bruiser's are a first year team with, at best, moderate talent with few leaders, and while the Blazers are 2nd year veterans, they did finish dead last last season. I'm not surprised that both teams came out of the gate stumbling, but to see a huge turnaround by both ball clubs when the chips were down showed a real never-say-die attitude that will get them into the playoffs. If either team can stop shooting themselves in the foot, they will be well worth the price of admission to watch."

DP: "Thanks, Kenny. (theme music kicks in)Still to come on SportsCenter: Vancouver gets Wild in Minnesota as the race for Lord Stanley's Cup continues, and later on in the program we'll recap all the highlights of tonight's baseball action." (lights dim)

A: "SportsCenter, is brought to you by... Gatorade: Is it in You?... by Castrol: Engineered for Today's Cars... and by LiveJournal.com: Make Your Business Everyone Else's on LiveJournal.com (Music builds: BAH-DUH-BAH...BAH-DUH-BAH!)

(Cut to commercial)

Current mood: creative

Sunday, April 27, 2003

12:10PM

Ok, so this is one and only L.J. community for Stigler-ites. I just started this thing as the moderator. I'm open to suggestions about how to improve the community with better backgrounds, mood icons, pictures, etc.

If someone could get me a picture of that green sign outside of town that says "Stigler" or another one of the many welcoming signs we have, it would be much appreciated. I think that'd be a great pic to have on here.

But if you have anything Stigler related feel free to post it here

And here's instructions on how to join (it takes a whole 20 seconds). Check out the Stigler-ites user info and click where it says, to join the community. I know you're not all idiots, but I try not to assume things. Done that? Good!

To post, you'll have to do it like you would your normal journal online, but switch to the "journal to post in" to "stigler_ites". It's not that hard. Anyone that made it through 6th grade can figure it out!

If you use the download client, like me, then all you have to do is change the active journal under the livejournal menu. Again... this isn't as hard as I'm making it sound.

Current mood: creative